eeefff my life.

So pretty much my dad is the biggest ass hole I know. Except for maybe Nate, but we won't talk about him because he's a waste of space. Anyways. he woke my up at 7:30 this morning to scream at me for the house not being clean. Hello I'm not the only one who lives here!! Then he starts going off about the kittens and blah blah blah, I'm thinking in my head "Dude seriously, I've heard this before, I don't care!" but I didn't say that. Luckily. And this lady is supposed to get back to me for this job thing, well she hasn't so I'm thinkin she's really really busy, she did say she owned like 3 businesses so its not like she's planning her day around me. But its my fault that she hasn't had time to contact me. Then he continues to go off about how I do nothing with my life and blah blah blah. I seriously just freaking hate him right now. He says he's taking my car and canceling the insurance blah blah blah he's said all this before so whatever. I told him I hated him and he was just like "Thats fine." Thats our problem its not fine! Its never fine to hate your family. Ugh I need help. I'm retarded.

To top it all off Chester is probably going to have to be put to sleep. I don't have any idea whats wrong with him. He just can't move or anything, he can barely hold his head up. It makes me like want to cry every time I see him. I don't even know what could have happened. And he's my favorite one and everything. So I dunno what we're gonna do, it makes me so so sad. I just keep watching him hoping he gets better but I dunno.

I dunno if I'm going to California today or not. I should but I don't wanna be around my dad. Ugh. He's such a jerk. If I go it will be to support BYU Rugby and thats it. Ugh. I'm so dumb. Well, I guess I'm gonna go clean the house. Peace.

Cal-i-forn-i-a!

We leave for California tomorrow I am so excited I can hardly stand it! But I'm sad that Kevin isn't going with me, a whole 5 days apart?! What ever will we do?! Haha thats sarcasm!!! I'm not that crazy! I'm just excited and really hope we can beat Berkly this year, if we do I already know I'm going to cry. I'll cry if we lose though too so I have to remember waterproof mascara hahah. I just want them to win so bad! I know we have the potential to this year too. It would be so good for them to win. I just really hope it happens.

I'm really trying to get this Nanny job and if I get it, it will be awesome!!! I'd work from like 9-4 Monday- Friday, I would love that! Plus they have a pool! That means I'm gonna get so tan!! They have 3 Kids a 14 year old boy, and a 5 and 6 year old little girl, the boy will be gone most of the summer so it will be me and the little girls. I really really hope I get it.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna move out soon, if I get said job anyways. My parents just treat me like I'm 5 and I'm over it. Like I just wanna be able to do what I want without them freaking out. Plus I'm sick of being home all day and having to clean everyone else's messes. Its getting old.

Well, I'm gonna go get ready for the day, I've actually gotta pack for California and all. Ugh, that means I have to wash clothes and go find my suitcase. Blah. Hope I can find all my stuff hahaha.

Hmm..

Okay, well today was awesome at first. I got up, got ready Kevin came and got us, we took somethin to my dad, went to Wingers, which was absolutely delicious!! I loved it. Then we came home and played the wii for about 3 hours haha it was a blast! Kevin and Jill and I we're playing tennis and it was intense!! But really really fun. Then I got online and Josh and I were fighting about Kevin, then Amy started going off on me for Kevin ignoring Josh, mind you they both were asking about Kevin and what not but had to talk to me. Then they got mad at me when I told them how he felt. Blah blah blah, Josh said hurtful things and Amy was all on Josh's side, I wasn't even mean to them, which for me is like amazing! But whatev, I'm totally over it. Amy deleted me from her facebook, haha I was like uh.. okay. But oh well. I'm going to kill my mother, like really. She wont leave me alone. I think I'm just gonna go to Shena's. She's more fun then my parents and the other people I hang out with. Drama Drama Drama.

Beatiful Day!

Well today is gorgeous! I woke up, went to put the cat out and ta-da! Sunshine! I love it, I'm going to go play basketball and soak it all in :] I promised Bo we'd go jump on the tramp so I should probably go over there in a while. I'm hoping to be outside like all of today. It would be awesome! It is a gorgeous day I am so excited! I think I'm gonna try and find shorts that look cute enough to wear because I have like NONE, it kinda sucks! So I have decided that I want a dog that isn't insane. I love Chaos to death but I want one a little bit more relaxed. One that I can actually run with and will stay with me instead of going all over the place, plus Chaos needs a friend. Ever since Zoe died Chaos gets really sad and lonely. I feel bad for him, I'm trying to talk my mom into letting me get one. I dunno how its gonna work though, especially since we have 4 cats at the moment. By the way if anyone wants a kitten let me know. They are absolutely adorable, I want them to go to really good homes, I couldn't stand it if they didn't, well I'm going to soak up some Vitamin D! Tata for now

I am so bad at this!

Well, I always forget to write in this. Its annoying but what can you do? I'm trying to think what is recent news. Oh my mom and I had a few good heart to hearts this week, it was really good to talk to her. For some reason it didn't click that she would still love me if I made mistakes. I don't know why I didn't get that, Its just driven a wedge between us for so long and it feels like its finally gone. Its crazy. Home life is going great for the first time in almost 3 years. It feels great to know what healthy relationships are with parents.
I think we have officially decided to drive to nationals, its just so expensive for 6 of us to fly. I think we're gonna whip out the good ol' mini van, grab some DVD's and go west! Woo! 12 hours with 6 people in the car. Ya gotta love it, I'm hoping my dad will be able to take Gavin with him, that way he gets to deal with him and not us!
Well it seems as if EVERYONE is getting engaged. Amy and Josh got engaged last weekend, Kevins cousin got engaged, someone else did but I really can't remember. Kerri (Kevin's sister practically begged Kevin and I not to, I told her that wasn't an issue yet. I mean we've been dating for a LOOONG time but I'm only 18. I wanna marry him, just not right now :] We're too young. We wanna get a bit of school in and then talk more seriously about it. Its like a trend now. Plus when I get married, people will ask me when I'm going to have kids and that seems like a lifetime away.
My good friend Shena actually just figured out her 7 month old baby has pneumonia, she was really upset. We're just praying that she will be okay and wont have to go to the hospital, Shena wont be able to sleep. She is the most adorable baby in the world though, and so happy!
I'm still trying to find some sort of a job, I'm being picky and I really can't be. Not with the economy like this. It is ridiculous. I need to just step it up and get one. Well, I think I am about to pass out, I'll write more later.